乖孩子受的傷,最重

乖孩子受的傷,最重。

乖孩子,會聽話,守規矩,會做奴隸,但很少會做自己的主人。

甚麼叫乖?最容易去描述「乖」的行為是聽話守規,那維持了家庭學校社會的和諧,大人都常說好。但孩子是甚麼動機去乖呢?

如果乖是為取悅大人?是為恐懼失去寵愛?是為避免懲罰和麻煩?更因而放棄自己,同時有不被明白、尊重的感覺呢?那就是傷了。

以糖果金錢賞罰,或是兇惡高壓,「你不乖我就不開心」的方法,去要孩子的乖乖,其實都是操控,即使孩子乖乖聽話,其實長遠是培養了以利益和恐懼去行事,都是傷。

如果是他衷心懂得尊重群體,同時仍忠於自己、敢於去追求和追求自己的夢想,這個乖孩子也就真是好了。

Good children listen to his parents and teachers, follow the rules, and behave well. They learn to be good slaves. Not master of their own.

Adults loves good boys. They don’t scream, they don’t disrupt. They are easy on parents and teachers. But let’s ask: why do good boys want to be “good” boys? To avoid punishment? To please the teachers? For fear of losing the affection of their parents?

Reward and punishment systems, authoritative suppressions, and “I would be sad if you don’t behave” statements are typical manipulative measures used by adults. But what are their consequences? The child will only learn to live up to others’ expectations and standards, and under the fear of failure, poverty, and not loved. He is afraid of expressing himself and going his own way. Gradually he’ll forget what he really wants, and who he is. A life of frustrations. Alternatively, he’ll become rebellious to express his frustrations, powerlessness, and hunger for love.

The healthy great boy, may disregard rules and regulations, but naturally respect all people, because he has enough self-respect and self-love. He feels worthy, he doesn’t need external approval. He is inner-driven, passionate about life. He has his own dreams and dare to manifest his dreams.

註:題目取自李雅卿《乖孩子的傷,最重》。

One Reply to “乖孩子受的傷,最重”

  1. 乖? 父母认为乖 孩子是为了不想再去看到一副或两副哭丧的脸对着自己
    听话? 孩子年纪小时 已养成了 只要假装顺从 假装微笑点头照着做 用时间换取平静 过一天算一天 …………听父母批评谁家孩子多坏多坏 听父母批评现代人都是为了钱 听父母评论政治
    听父母批论现今社会男女性观念沦落……用自己的习惯 只要避开父母不顺眼的事情 不去惹到自己身上 就不用去看着父母哭丧的脸 就可以避开父母 那道枷锁 是不是什麽都不要去参与到 就等於没事就是没事 被家长知道就是自找麻烦
    读书期间还可以这样行屍走肉 放弃自我价值 只要顺着父母就天下太平
    若干年过去…..

    时间久了 孩子长大了 小时候那套方法 让孩子想死 想杀人 想报仇

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